13 Questions You and Your Partner Need to Ask Each Other

By Cosmopolitan/Evelyne Wareh

These questions, from Tell Me What You’re Thinking, will help you and your partner have important conversations about who you are and what’s important to you.

Sit down with your partner and ask a question. Then listen while you pay close attention. When they’re done, feel free to ask them more about their thoughts and feelings on the subject. Then it’s your partner’s turn to ask you.

  1. If somebody asked you, “What’s the most wonderful or loveble thing about your partner?” what would you say?
  2. What one thing about me do you find most confusing or difficult to understand? Would you like me to tell you what goes on for me when I become difficult or confusing in that way?
  3. What’s the one small thing I can do on a regular basis — that I don’t do regularly now — that would most make you feel cared for?
  4. Is there anything you wish we would do as a couple that we don’t do now, or do separately?
  5. If you could plan your own perfect day, from getting up in the morning to falling asleep that night, what would that day look like?
  6. How do you feel about my kissing you in public? Hugging you in public? Telling you that I love you? Complimenting you in front of others?
  7. In what ways or places do you especially like me to touch you? In what ways or places do you not like me (or anyone) touching you?
  8. What one thing do you really wish I understood, accepted, or empathized with?
  9. Please tell me one thing that I do often that makes you feel loved and cared about.
  10. Is there something you really want that you haven’t asked me for yet — or that I haven’t realized you want?
  11. Is there anything I know or can do that you’d like me to teach you?
  1. Would you like me to tell you two things I appreciate or adore about you? (Take some time to think; then tell your partner what those things are, and why they make you happy.)
  2. How often would you like me to tell you I love you?

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