Are you the toxic one?

Are you engaging in constant behaviour that is negatively influencing your relationship?

The word ‘toxic’ is thrown around alot these days especially when it comes to a relationship context. But do you really know what it means? In general terms, toxic refers to something poisonous, dangerous or harmful. In terms of a relationship, you can say someone’s partner is toxic wen they engage in actions that are purposefuly damaging to their partner, be it phyically, mentally or emotionally.

You may be jumping from one relationship to another with each ending bitterly and never lasting for any “proper” length of time. Have you thought about why this is the case? Maybe you’re the negative influence.

Let’s explore some signs that you’re the toxic one in your relationships:

  1. You regularly threaten your partner.

When you have a disagreement, you threaten bodily harm, give ultimatums, or threaten to leave them. E.g. “If you don’t do this, I will leave you.”

2. You are extremely critical of your partner.

You regularly criticize and are quick to point out their flaws.

3. You have a short fuse.

You are quick to burst into fits of rage and it doesn’t take much to get our blood boiling.

4. Your partner avoids you.

He/she does not initiate contact with you and is alway trying to cut conversations short in order to get away.

5. You always play the victim.

You feel and act like you’re the one who’s alway being wronged.

6. You are controlling.

Always acting like it’s your way or the highway. You believe that what you know is best and your commands should alway be enacted.

7. You’re selfish.

You’re extremely self-serving and always want things to revolve around you. You’re never willing to compromise.

8. You never apologize.

The word “sorry” simply doesn’t exist in your vocabulary. You’re not willing to admit when you’re wrong and are always finding excuses to justify your actions.

9. You never let go.

Even if your partner is remorseful for something they did, you hold it over their head constantly and years later, you’re still reminding them of their mess up.

10. You gaslight.

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic in which one person gains power over the other by making them doubt their reality. Gaslighting is a whole other topic that we shall address another day.

If you resonatated with majority of the above signs then you’re more likely a toxic person and you need to address yourself.


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