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Welcome back to The Maddening Mind, where my nose and I sniff out the quirks of workplace weirdos, served with a side of Kenyan chai and a sprinkle of humour.
I wasn’t able to blog last week, cause you know, work-life balance, but now we are back!
Today, we’re diving into the tale of Severus Snape, the office’s most misunderstood soul, whose vibe screams “villain” but whose heart is purer than filtered borehole water.
Now for the Harry Porter fanatics like myself, Snape was often seen as the bad guy, and sure, he had some bad guy vibes. But in the end, he just wasn’t.
In our office, Snape is the guy everyone avoids like a matatu with broken windows in the rain.
His desk sits in the corner, surrounded by a cloud of suspicion thicker than Nairobi fog.
Colleagues whisper that he’s plotting to steal your promotion, sabotage your project or maybe even report you for sneaking ugali from the office kitchen.
His sharp tongue and brutally honest feedback don’t help.
“Your report looks like it was written by a Form One student on a sugar high,” he once told a trembling intern.
Ouch, Snape, why so savage?
But here’s the twist, my people – Severace is the office’s unsung hero, a proper mwananchi with a heart bigger than a politician’s promises.
The man’s honesty is so raw it could peel onions.
He’ll tell you your idea is rubbish straight to your face, but he’ll never snitch to the boss. That time Janet from Accounts “accidentally” took home the office stapler? Snape saw it, raised an eyebrow, but zipped his lips tighter than a new pair of skinny jeans.
He’s the kind who’d rather eat his words than serve them to HR.
Snape’s problem? Nobody asks for his help. He’s like that reliable boda boda guy you ignore because he looks too serious, yet he’d carry your entire shopping load up those six flights of stairs for free.
I once watched him fix the office printer in five minutes flat—while muttering about how we’re all “useless at basic troubleshooting.”
He didn’t even ask for credit, just slunk back to his desk like a shadow. Meanwhile, the IT guy was still on his third cup of tea, asking us to raise a ticket.
The office gossip mill paints Snape as the bad guy. “He’s too quiet, probably hiding something,” says Mary from Marketing, who thinks her perfume is a personality trait.
“He’s always judging us,” grumbles Kevin, who submits reports three days late.
But let me tell you, I caught Snape covering for Kevin once, finishing his overdue presentation at midnight while Kevin was out chasing nyama choma vibes.
Snape just shrugged and said, “The team looks bad if one of us fails.” Who does that? A saint, that’s who.
My nose, ever the detective, picks up Snape’s scent: a mix of strong black coffee and old-school integrity, like your shosh who never lies about her age.
One day, I mustered the courage to ask him why he never defends himself against the office shade. His answer? “Let them talk.
Truth doesn’t need a megaphone.”
Classic Snape – deep like a KBC documentary.
So, next time you’re tempted to join the “Snape is evil” bandwagon, pause.
Ask him to fix your Excel sheet or debug your code. You’ll find a guy who’d rather save your kazi than let you sink, even if he’ll roast your work ethic while at it.
Severus Snape, the hero we don’t deserve but desperately need—like a good Wi-Fi signal in a blackout.
Stay sniffing, my friends, and tune in next time for more Maddening Mind madness!
